The White Thumb

BRUTALLLLLLLL. Here I am in month 14 on trying to conceive. I just want a BABY lol. I am in a really really good head space about it due to having an understanding partner/family and going to therapy. With that said I definitely have my hard days where the house we live in feels quiet and empty. But like right now, I get bursts of energy to be creative and social and then I am okay with not having a child at the moment.

We have been through a lot of testing thus far. Our next step is… drumroll pleaseeee…. a fertility specialist! Haha our first appointment is next week, but it is also the supposed to be the first day of my cycle! Wouldn’t it be cray cray if I was pregnant!? But let’s be real, probs not but it’s fun to dream! (Update… cycle came)

I am at the point where I am sick of waiting even though I am okay mentally. So I personally would like to skip IUI and go straight to the golden IVF!!! I will acknowledge we are super fortunate to have that as a choice and since we do thats what I would like to do. I’m 33 going on 34 and ready. We also would like to have two kids so thats that. We will see what the specialist says though but from what I have discussed with others, since we have the means, we should just go for it.

My reasoning for wanting to share this is that a lot of people will share the end result once they get what they want, but not a lot of people talk about it during the process. I thought it might be nice to share this while we are going through it. I am an open book and what I enjoy about living in this world today is being able to share hard experiences with people and not being so hush hush about things. No one should have to go through difficult things alone because we all experience them in one way or another and what better way to deal with something like this then sharing the information with others? I will say my experience with infertility has been fairly “easy” and I know that is not the case for most people.

If you are dealing with or have gone through infertility issues, I hear you and I see you. I am so sorry you have had to or are currently experiencing this. It truly is one of the hardest things because it is one of those things in life you have absolutely no control over.

Oh and also…. what a better time then now to sign up for a half marathon in april? I’ll quit if my doctor tells me to but until then 🏃🏻‍♀️hahaha

Love you all,

BB