The White Thumb

To be loved unconditionally

The first word that comes to mind is FREE. You feel free. You are yourself which allows you to embrace others with so much more strength. The voice in your head is softer and more caring. You can love yourself. Your mind is clear. You are able to do more things without fear. You are not drowning in self doubt. Your nervous system is calm. You are supported.

The second word is COMFORT. Your skin and body are relaxed. You can freely express yourself through your words and actions with ease. You want to love your people more. You can lay on the couch and read a book and feel accomplished. You can go on a walk and feel satisfied that you moved your body. You are more willing to push yourself when you want to on your terms. You are you. This is comfort. This is love.

To be loved with conditions

First word SUFFOCATING. Feeling restrained. Not being yourself which does not allow you to embrace others and if you try it is hard. The voice in your head is harsh and demeaning. You cannot truly love yourself. Your mind is foggy. Everything you do is frightening. You are completely drowning in your emotions and the other persons view on how you should be and how you should live. Your nervous system is constantly in overdrive. You are not supported in the things that make you, you but are supported in everything that others want you to be.

The second word is FRAGILE. Your skin and body feel like a strangers and that it doesn’t belong to you. You feel tingly and uncomfortable in your skin. You are up in arms at all times and can not express yourself clearly or with grace. You might be jealous, angry, worried, fearful, and cannot love in the way you want to. You can’t sit still, relaxing is lazy and forbidden. A walk isn’t satisfying because you aren’t moving fast enough. You are resistant to pushing yourself because you are constantly being pushed by someone else. You are exhausted. You are not yourself. You are uncomfortable. Love is lost.

Find the person that softens you. Who can slow down with you and live in the moment. Who is willing to heal themselves right along with you. Who is a good communicator. Who makes you feel comfortable even in your most vulnerable moments. Who knows how to live in the present moment with you. Who wouldn’t change a thing about you or your flaws and you can feel it and you know it… without a doubt. Who supports even your weirdest desires. Who knows they want to be with you. Who can pick up the 80% when you’re feeling 20%.

It takes work but its two people willing to work for each other. It’s wonderful. Know that getting back to yourself takes time and being truly loved feels foreign but when you’re loved without conditions you can take all the time you need to find yourself again.

Love ya,

BB